Tricky Ass Black Men

Soooooo, I don't want to talk about Ferguson right now.  I don't want to talk about protests or riots or boys lost too young and too soon.  I don't want to talk fight the power, damn the man, no justice, no peace.  I don't even want to talk about reasons, ramifications or revenge.  This whole week has been a rollercoaster of confusion, hurt and helplessness; I've spent far too much time with tears peeking over edges at the cliffs of my eyelids and I don't need anymore angst filled conversations at the moment. My heart just can't take it.

What I want is to talk about fine ass black men.  I want to discuss chocolate dipped skin and cocoa colored eyes with full lips like pillows that dish out honey coated kisses.  I want to converse on the topic of washboard abs and gleaming pearly white smiles that draw me in with that gravel filled, joyous laugh.  Let's have a conversation about love and loving; being loved, sharing love and making love.  I want to talk black love because it is the only way to heal black pain. 

In the words of Nikki Giovanni, "Black love is black wealth";  if we concentrate on loving one another maybe we can smother hatred.  More than violence and vehemence love has been the primary force behind any human movement that has actually worked.  I've been reading A LOT of bell hooks lately and she has my mind set on love.  The author, feminist and activist believes LOVE should be the word plastered across our lips in any effort to make change.  "The greatest movement for social justice our country has ever known is the civil rights movement and it was totally rooted in a love ethic."  What I took from that is instead of raging against each other we should be rubbing on each other (maybe I'm a lil liberal with my interpretation. Sue me.) We should be fostering self love and a collective love of black skin that forces injustice to flee from the residual love vibes perfuming the air.

In honor of this impending love fest, I'd like to share some of my favorite bewitching beaus who constantly remind me that black men are lucious and laudable even in a world that constantly struggles to climb on their backs and strangle the essence of their royalty.  These beautiful black boys remind me that my son has something to look forward to: looks and substance.  Each man on this list not only embodies the epitome of physical pleasantries but also contributes to this world in tangible and pragmatic ways (cue spine tingle now).  Take a peek at some of the men who make me glad I have a uterus available to bear their offspring: 

Denzel Washington

Ol' Father of ALL Black Fineness Tricky Ass Black Man
You know Denzel HAD  to be on the list, right?  My mother would have come back from the dead and beat me with the old belt still laying in my grandmother's basement had I not mentioned him.  He was her only "Hall Pass" with my dad and half the reason why we watched most of the movies we saw in the theater in the ACTUAL theater when we were young (though cheap, my mommy would always spend her money on a Denzel flick).  But besides being every woman of a certain age's ultimate wet dream, this man is amazing.  He is of course an Oscar winner for roles in Glory and Training Day, but also an example of what true stardom should look like.  Humble and God-fearing, his longevity in an industry of one hit wonders is testament to his talent and his marriage to Paulette shows us Black love can survive anything.  And how many actors who play hostage negotiators can say they've been ACTUAL negotiators?! In 2006, the Columbian revolutionary group FARC named him as one of the only three men they would speak to in order to release imprisoned hostages.  You betta save lives on and off screen!!!

Taye Diggs

Ol' Chocoalte Drop Bald Headed Tricky Ass Black Man
So besides helping us recognize the fact that Stella, no matter how old or bitter, can definitely get her sexy groove back, he has also proved you can be a multi-talented and macho too.  The actor is a classic triple threat; singer, dancer and actor all rolled up into one hershey covered powerhouse.  In additon to numerous roles on TV, stage and film he also co-owns a dance company. The SAG award winner knows how to get us going not only in a bedroom but in a courtroom, hospital, boardroom ... shit you name it, he's played it.  And he can add children's book author to his list of accolades as well! Diggs co-wrote the book Chocolate Me! which talks to kids about how to deal with feeling different. If that doesn't make your uterus explode, I don't know what will and I don't think you're human.

Idris Elba

Ol' British Accent Grown and Sexy Tricky Ass Black Man
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
I can barely type these words because it feels like Idris' eyes are boring into my soul from this picture and I'm getting all hot and tingly.  Let's just say that this sexy, foreign, mahagony god is also master of hidden talents.  Best known for his role as Stringer Bell on The Wire, this actor and producer has graced big and small screen with elegance and unmatched sex appeal.  But little did you know he also shares his mojo as Big Dris; a DJ since age 19, this rapper and songwriter has worked with numerous musical talents.  He has released several EP's and performed on albums of top Hip Hop icons including Pharoah Monche and Jay-Z.  He also works behind the scenes co-writing and performing in Mumford and Sons' music video Lover of the Light (you betta be versatile!) and producing K. Michelle's "The Rebellious Soul Musical" on VH1. Now if only I could get him to produce music in my bedroom some time soon ...

Common

Ol' Rapping, Acting and Saving Kids Tricky Ass Black Man
Whenever Erykah sings "My love is his and his is mine/My friend became the/Love of my life..." I always get visions of Common and I falling in love after having a platonic work relationship that blossoms into the romance of a lifetime.  Maybe it happens because he needs me to teach and counsel at his summer camp for underprivileged youth through his Common Ground Foundation.  Or maybe it's because I'm called in to write for the PR team at his independent music label Think Common Entertainment. However it happens, I just know that this rapper, actor, entrepeneur and philathropist is the answer to all my carnal and intellectual desires. Between coming out with concious rap album after concious rap album and penning a memoir entitled One Day It'll Make Sense in which among other topics he discusses his close relationship with his mom, I have no idea how this man finds any time for love.  Don't worry though; Bad Mommi will have him wishing there were 48 hours to each day just so he can fit our tryst into his schedule.

Mos Def

Ol' Multi-Talented Never Scared Tricky Ass Black Man
Anybody who can make me laugh gets the panties so you know watching episodes of Chappelle's show with Dante Smith talking about yellow cake make me want to hop right into bed.  But as much as this man has the ability to bust a gut, he also has the ability to speak the truth.  Having been a concious, pro-Black rapper for some time now (Umi Says is on repeat as my morning affirmation and meditation) this man also uses his gifts as a platform for change.  He has always been a voice speaking out against  several social and political causes including police brutality, American life and the treatment of Blacks in America. This bold beauty never runs from the good fight; after Hurricane Katrina he released the single "Katrina Clap",  a critique of the response to Hurricane Katrina. On the night of the MTV Video Music Awards, he didn't even blink an eye after being arrested for pulling up in front of Radio City Music Hall on a flatbed truck and  performing the single in front of a crowd that quickly gathered around him. Right on brother! Let's keep hope alive right in each other's arms!

Laz Alonso

Ol' Smart Ass Degree Having Tricky Ass Black Man
In a country where statiscally Black men make up less than 35% of the bachelor's degrees conferred to African Americans this fine ass fool has the nerve to get a BBA in marketing from Howard.  And what did he do with that degree you ask?  Did he get it just to have a side job while he pursued acting?  Nope! Acting and hosting came second for this investment banker from Wall Street.  After years as a financial jockey, he left the career to host multiple shows and capture collective black hearts on BET.  We all died a little inside when we had to share the wealth as he branched out to become an actor in films like Miracle at St. Anna and The Fast and the Furious. Sigh.  This Afro-Cuban cutie can balance a checkbook and whisper sweet nothings.  What a delectable combo.

Nathan Jarrett-Stewart

Ol' Little Known Gorgeous Features Tricky Ass Black Man
So you may not know who Jarett-Stewart is but I certainly do after watching a marathon of the made for Hulu british series Misfits.  This British (do I need to move to London to find my husband?) 28 year old caught my attention and captured my heart in the first episode.  That skin, those lips and yes! that gorgeous nose make me wanna holler whenever his face graces my computer.  When they wrote him off the show in the 4th season, my marthon ended.  Honestly, I love him beacuse his features are so definitively Black, so unabashedly African and so absolutely beautiful I can't help but stare. We need more examples of beauty with distinctively African features to promote a sense of self love.  And I don't know what he's doing right now but if anyone finds out please let me know so I can tune in.

Hill Harper

Ol' Wisdom Imparting Well Spoken Tricky Ass Black Man

You know why Hill Harper is on this list.  Because there is something enticing about this clean-cut,  intelligent and articulate man.  He can play a forensic scientist in CSI and we completely believe him because we know he's just that smart.  He can also write numerous books including Letters to a Young Brother: Manifest your Destiny and Letters to a Young Sister: Define your Destiny and we completely take his advice. This man never forgets to bring those left behind with him.  As a political activist he has raised gobs of money for Black leaders like Obama and as a benefactor he has collected thousands of materials through his bookbag campaign for youth.  He's the type you take home to mama.

Chadwick Boseman

Ol' I'm Black and I'm Proud Tricky Ass Black Man

You know him as James Brown or Jackie Robinson.  He knows himself as actor, screenwriter, director and playwright. And who could possibly resist that smile?  I love him because he plays our legends with a depth, complexity and honesty that is worthy of human icons.  He takes his life and work seriously and spreads his talent around for the masses to enjoy.  Not only has he played great singers and baseball players he has also directed and written plays for the Hip Hop Theatre Project. He has a film directorial debut due in November 2017; I'll be the first in line for a ticket.

Nate Parker

Ol' Use Some Wrestling Moves on Me Tricky Ass Black Man

Product of single mother, this amazing actor rose above by eventually attending Penn State becoming a wrestler throughout high school and college.  Refusing to be a statistic he gives others in his position the opportunities to move forward by raising money for scholarships and continuing to coach high school wrestling. All I have to say is that if Miles ever wanted to take up wrestling as his sport of choice, move to Parker's city and join his team, I wouldn't be mad.  Though I love him dearly and route for anything he does, Miles would not be the focus during those matches; this great debater and Redtail would have my eyes trained on him the entire time!

Michael B. Jordan

Ol' Looks Underage But Could Get It Tricky Ass Black Man
I had to check ID for this one because though he is fine, I always feel like kind of a pedo when I salivate over him.  But come to find out he's 27 so my fantasies are definitely legal if not a little rated NC-17. This critically acclaimed actor definitely got me to see him as a grown man when he portrayed Oscar Grant in the heart wrenching  Fruitvale Station. In fact Time found him so moving they named him one of the 30 under 30 Changing the World.  His acting brought a far too common and far too horrific fact of this country to the forefront: Black bodies and Black lives are devalued in America. I thank him for that and would also like to let him know that his Black body will never go unappreciated in my presence.

Jesse Williams

Ol' Too Pretty Tricky Ass Black Man
Now at first, I'll admit I didn't like Jesse Williams.  He was just too damn gorgeous.  Some people make me nervous with the level of their physical attractiveness and he was definitely one of those people.  I always felt that if I ever ran into him in person I would run the other way too nerous to eke out a word.  But after watching him use candor and poise in one of his many apperances on CNN I have to say that if I ever ran into him I would shake his hand and commend him for standing up and being a voice of the unseen and voiceless in this country.  And then I'd probably try to rub my pelvis on him.  Williams is the youngest member of the board of directors at The Advancement Project, a civil rights think tank and advocacy group. He is also the executive producer of Question Bridge: Black Males, a multifaceted media project that can be used as art exhibition or teaching tool.  He's written articles for CNN and Huffington Post, and has been a guest on Wolf Blitzer's The Situation Room and even sparked a debate about casting in Hollywood after a fan campaign failed to get him cast as Finnick Odair in Hunger Games. Don't you just love when beauty and brains collide?

Andre 3000

Ol' Musical Genius Quirky Tricky Ass Black Man

This American rapper, singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, record producer and actor could possibly be the sexiest weirdo on the planet.  Sometimes I think he was gifted to us from another Solar system.  As part of the brillance that is Outkast he had already wowed us with music talent from somewhere in the stars but when he started acting and become a sartorial idol I was in heaven.  He has dipped his exquisite pinky into everything from creating his own line of menswear called Benjamin bixby to being the mouthpeice for those without language as an animal activist.  He also entertained the babies by created a show for Cartoon Network called Class of 3000 and he was name World's Sexist Vegetarian Celebrity.  Always a model for flaunting your uniqueness, I love the way he lets his presence and joy show us how to just be who we are.  I might just give up bacon for you, Ice Cold.

Miles

Ol' Tricky Ass Black Man in Training
Ok, ok so he's not a man yet.  And yeah, he hasn't really done anything spectacular in the eyes of the world except have the uncanny ability to crack up whenever anyone says the word "balls".  But look at him!  That is one fine looking black boy if I do say so myself! He is not only fine, but he is also intelligent, compassionate, wise beyond his years and multi-talented. To top it all off, he's a life saver.  I'm 100% sure that had I not given birth to this lil bugger I would probably be homeless on the dirty streets stripping for tacos or worse.  He keeps me grounded, reminds me that there's more to life than just me and forces me to be a better me so I can create a better him. For those reasons he definitely belongs on the list.  He also belongs here because if I want him to be a Fine Ass Black Man, physically, spiritually, intellectually and emotionally, I have to tell him he's fine now!  Love starts from birth and I'm willing to love him up to Tricky Ass Black Man status.

Now remember, these men are TRICKY not because they lie, cheat or beat on women.  They are not TRICKY because they have sordid pasts and have made mistakes.  EVERYONE has a sordid past and has made mistakes.  They are TRICKY simply because they are complex, like we all are.  See, the trick to changing the way we view Black men and Black people in general is to stop boxing them in.  Stop putting every Black man into the thug category because he had a run in with the law.  Stop putting him into the deadbeat category because he didn't marry his child's mother.   Stop labeling and realize that people are simply balls of complexities and the fun in life is discovering the beauty of what makes us tick.

I now give you permission to daydream that any one of these men (except for Miles!) is in your home right now preparing perfectly seasoned southern fried catfish and collard greens with a bottle of red wine on the ready and a New York Times article ready for your perusal and spirited conversation afterwards (said cutie is also primed to rub any part of your body that is aching without expecting coitus immediately afterwards).  But more than daydreams of lust, let's daydream about a world where Black men are seen for who they are; indviduals who are beautiful and complex, strong and intelligent, mistake makers but also life changers.  When we begin to see Black men as MEN and not demons only then will the killing stop.  And when we see Black men as worthy of unconditional and unadulterated love we change the world.  Let's love each other to life, not death, and as a collective community, let's teach the powers that be that a loved and loving people are never dispensable.